How to Choose a Therapist Who Supports LGBT Issues
How is gay men's psychotherapy different from heterosexual men's? Do LGBT+ and straight people have other mental health needs?
Here's the deal.
There isn't.
Everyone has their way of being and existing in the world, and LGBT+ people are no different from straight people.
Nonetheless, as an LGBT therapist who works with gay men, I believe it is necessary to recognize the anomaly of same-sex sexual orientation experiences within heteronormative societies that struggle to accept gay men and other LGBTQIA+ people.
Stereotypes, prejudices, and discrimination toward sexual minorities in many European countries, including homophobia, are still prevalent.
Regardless of how progressive EU law supports LGBTQIA+ rights, this situation is discriminatory and offensive and delegitimizes the identities of each of us. Consequently, this inhibits full self-realization for many LGBTQIA+ individuals.
Being Gay is Not a Choice.
The causes of same-sex sexuality and orientation have long intrigued psychologists and counselors.
Finding a cause and an effect, however, creates prejudice, stigma, and discrimination, consequently fueling an unhealthy belief in right and wrong. Interpretations can also create labels and judgments, especially concerning sexual orientation.
During psychotherapy, you are driven mainly by the desire to feel better to improve your life. Therefore, what matters is what you can do to live a more fulfilled life. Being gay is not a choice, but how you express it is.
Little Point to Knowing Why You Are Gay.
Many LGBT+ people, including my gay clients who struggle with their identity, ask me how they became gay or what causes same-sex sexual orientation. My answer has always been: "Why do we need to know?". No one has ever been able to provide me with a logical explanation.
In my opinion, wondering how you 'became' gay underlies the idea that you can eliminate your sexual orientation if you know its cause. As a second false premise to this question, being gay constitutes a deviation from normalcy; therefore, it is pathological.
When dealing with such questions, the essential question is what purpose is served by your gay sexual orientation and what meaning the questions have for you.
What about Discomfort?
Considering any client's uniqueness and complexity is an essential aspect of psychology. In the case of being an LGBT client, it is necessary to regard you as a person who experiences discomfort, whatever it may be.
Thus, many LGBT clients seek therapy to help in their awareness of what they perceive as reality. However, this is not what we, the therapist, see.
Therefore, therapists working with LGBTQI+ individuals should abandon all preconceptions and hypotheses.
In other words, psychologists and counselors should not assume that psychological discomfort is necessarily associated with the client's sexual orientation nor that all LGBT clients suffer from internalized homonegativity.
Consequently, you are better served by psychotherapists and counselors specializing in LGBTQI+ issues.
Watch out for Heterosexist Therapist.
Based on widely studied hypotheses, we are all homosexists, distinguished by varying levels of freedom from prejudice, including gay, lesbian, and bisexual people.
This idea is why I believe LGBTQIA+ clients and therapists should pay attention to heteronormative language to avoid assuming heterosexuality for granted.
For example, asking you, "Are you in a relationship?" instead of "Do you have a boyfriend?".
Stay guarded against therapists with a narrative suggesting you made a "choice" concerning who you date or choose as a sexual partner.
Specialized LGBT Training is Necessary
Language and empathy are essential to making you, as a queer person, feel welcome, safe, and able to express yourself freely.
Therapists must have special training or firsthand experience (i.e., being gay themselves) on specific LGBTQI+ issues.
By doing so, you will feel better understood and not judged.
Among the topics frequently discussed in LGBT psychotherapy are coming out, shame and guilt, self-acceptance, minority stress, internalized homonegativity (homophobia), and the experiences of rejection, discrimination, violence, sexual abuse, and homophobic bullying.
Often, these constructs are not fully understood through theory but through lived experiences.
Your Expression of Self
Authenticity and spontaneity are crucial to a person's success.
As a psychotherapist, I am also responsible for encouraging clients' spontaneous self-expression, which involves you being yourself and me respecting your choices.
Being proud of your LGB identity impacts your sense of self.
Self-acceptance and belonging are critical components of this choice. Without such stigmatization, public demonstrations such as Pride would not be required.
This world should be free of discrimination, in which all people are treated as equals regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. This is true about the therapy you receive as an LGBT person.
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